"I Can't Stop Eating At Night!"
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“I’m so good all day….and then I get home and all bets are off!”
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“I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t stop eating at night!”
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“I think there is something legitimately wrong with me!”
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“I think I have a food addiction!”
Sound familiar? Do you find yourself eating “good” all day long, only to come home and eat anything and everything in sight? Well, you aren’t alone! In fact, I hear this from clients every single day. Many truly believe that since they can’t “get a handle” on their eating, that something is inherently wrong with them. First and foremost, nothing is wrong with you. Any time you are eating in a way that might feel out of control, there is always a reason behind it. In short, you are most likely overeating at night because you didn’t eat enough (either intentionally or unintentionally) throughout the day. Let’s look at two scenarios that demonstrate this. Afterwards, we’ll look at how emotional eating comes into play as well.
Scenario 1:
Your alarm goes off at 6:48 am giving you exactly 12 minutes to shower, brush your teeth, get dressed and get out the door. You hardly have time to wash your face, much less consume a balanced meal. You grab a coffee on your way to the train and answer work emails the entire ride to work.
From the minute you arrive at your desk at 8 am, to the minute you leave at 7 pm, you hardly have a minute to use the bathroom. Between emails, meetings and phone calls, your day is jam packed. You manage to find five minutes to grab a salad from SweetGreen around 12 o’clock and proceed to eat it at your desk, working while eating lunch. You are in the zone throughout the rest of the day and hardly think about food at all.
You finally punch out for the day and arrive home at 8 pm. You change into your comfy clothes, relax for a second, and, now that you’ve finally exited “fight or flight mode”, a massive wave of hunger hits you like a ton of bricks. You’ve been underfed all day and primal hunger has kicked in.
You start snacking while waiting for dinner, then eat a large dinner only to continue to snack in front of the TV. Do you have a food addiction? No, you are simply hungry and underfed from the day. You body is kicking in and doing what it is designed to do, survive.
You go to bed feeling uncomfortable and potentially sleep poorly (which will increase hunger the next day as well) since your body is still trying to digest your food. You wake up in the morning still full from the night before and skip breakfast. This cycle continues…..
Scenario 2:
You feel guilt over your eating choices and your late night snacking. You’ve been eating so “bad” recently and vow to lose weight for good this time. Your alarm goes off at 6:35 this time so you have time to have a “healthy breakfast”. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day right - better start the day off on the right foot! You eat a fat-free greek yogurt and grab a small skim latte on your way to work. “Today I will be good! No more overeating!” you remind yourself as you start the day.
You get to work and proceed as normal, enjoying a salad you brought from home for lunch. You eat it around 12:00 pm and go about your day. Around 3:00 pm you make time for a “healthy snack” and grab a hard boiled egg. The day continues and you feel a sense of pride as you reflect on how “good” you’ve been. No bread, no sweets!
Again you arrive home around 8pm and eat a “sensible” dinner of chicken and broccoli; after all, carbs after dark are forbidden right? You feel proud of yourself for how good you were today….. until 9:30/10 pm rolls around and the craving for chocolate chip cookies kicks in. That voice starts luring you into the pantry and although you try to fight, it’s like you are being controlled by another entity. So you remind yourself of how you promised to be “good” and you try to curb your craving for cookies with a Quest Bar…..but that didn’t do the trick. So you have some Halo Top (diet ice cream) to try to satisfy that sweet tooth, but you’re still left feeling like something is missing. This continues until you have eaten a bag of popcorn, some cheese, and another Quest Bar at which point you say “screw it I already blew it for the day” and polish off 6 cookies.
You go to bed feeling ashamed and wake up with guilt over your eating from the night before. You pledge to be better. The vicious cycle continues.
So do either of these scenarios sound like you? Do both of these scenarios sound like you? This is SO normal, but it can be uncomfortable and frustrating! The moral of the story is that you need to fuel yourself throughout the day. No matter how much willpower you think you might have, your body is more powerful and will kick into overdrive to force you to eat. It sees restriction (intentional or unintentional) as famine, and goes into survive mode, driving you to eat. When we get to this dangerous level of hunger, our bodies drive us to eat quickly and lead us to seek high calorie foods in order to get as much energy into the body as fast as possible. This is why when you are hangry, you aren’t usually reaching for carrot sticks. If this resonated with you, try eating breakfast, lunch and some snacks, so you are fueling your body every 3-4 hours. If you are eating throughout the day and truly feel like you are giving your body what it needs energy wise and STILL feel like you are overeating at night, it might be because you are using food to fill some other void.
Emotional Eating
Often times people use food to cover up emotions they don’t want to experience. This can also be intentional or unintentional. It’s also possible to have never learned another coping mechanism. If you are someone that has turned to food in times of sadness or pain for a majority of your life, it can be extremely helpful to work with a mental health professional to work through these challenging emotions and along with any past traumas.
In these moments of emotional eating, it can be helpful to pause and ask yourself “what am I feeling?” to identify the emotion you are experiencing. From there, ask yourself “what do I need?” to truly tend to this emotional need. Use the chart to the right for assistance. Perhaps you need support and can call a friend. Or maybe you really just need some alone time as an act of self care.
Now remember, eating is emotional (such as when we celebrate with birthday cake) but when we use food as our only coping mechanism issues arise. Not only do we have to eventually deal with the source of the emotion, but we have to deal with the consequences of overeating as well.
Is Something Else Missing?
If your basic needs are not met, you may also experience challenges in your eating. Instead of meeting yours needs, you may use food to fill a void that exists in another area of life. Use the chart to the left to see if your basic needs are being met.
Perhaps instead of food you really need rest. Perhaps instead of food you need some other form of stress reduction. Perhaps instead of food you really need to feel fulfilled from hobbies or religion. Or perhaps you need to find a new way to cope with the negative and uncomfortable emotions you are experiencing. Please also note that certain medications can lead to increased hunger as well.
Working through these issues alone can be challenging. If a lot of this information resonates with you, I would highly suggest seeking out the help of a mental health professional along with the help of a registered dietitian. If you are looking for a RD to help you make peace with food and address your binge/over eating, you can click below to see all of the services I offer from 1-on-1 coaching to my self-guided intuitive eating program.