How to Let Go of the Fear of Weight Gain when Starting Intuitive Eating

You’ve realized that dieting doesn’t work and it’s time to relearn how to trust your body. You’re ready to jump in and relearn how to eat intuitively, but your fear of weight gain is holding you back. 

It’s too scary to give up control of my weight.

What if I hate my body even MORE after I start intuitive eating?

I’d rather lose weight first and then I’ll heal my relationship with food.

The fear of weight gain is a common barrier to starting intuitive eating and it makes sense. You’ve likely devoted a lot of time and energy to changing or manipulating your body for the sake of weight loss. Finally releasing control over what happens to your weight with intuitive eating can feel like you’re throwing in the towel or “letting yourself go.” You’re not alone. In fact, if these feelings and worries are coming up for you, you’re right on track. We’re going to talk about how to actually deal with the fear of weight gain, where these thoughts and feelings might be coming from, and ways for you to continue moving forward in your journey toward food and body freedom. 

Question Why You Fear Weight Gain

The desire to be thin and have a body that’s deemed “worthy” in our society is deeply ingrained in us. We’re infiltrated in our everyday life with weight-centric and fatphobic messages.  Weight bias and weight stigma are very real and can lead to an internalized weight stigma that you might not even be aware of. This is where you self-direct the stigmatizing negative attitudes and beliefs people have based on social stereotypes of body weight.

Diet culture sells you lies telling you that you can control your weight and you should. Any different and you’re made to believe that you’re lazy or a failure.  Maybe you had a parent put you on a diet as a child, a doctor prescribed you weight loss advice, the clothing store didn’t carry your size, or a negative comment was expressed about your body weight. 

Navigating this world in a larger body IS often more challenging. Airplanes require an additional charge for an accommodating seat or a seat belt extender. Roller coasters, dining at restaurants, massage tables, and theater seats are often size-specific areas that make it uncomfortable for people in larger bodies to enjoy their experience. These are all a result of the way society has been trained to fear weight gain, and when these instances occur, usually daily for those in larger bodies, it sends the message that only certain people get to participate in our world. This results in really questioning whether you deserve to belong. Everyone wants to be accepted by others and this includes physically fitting in too. 

I want to take a moment to validate your own experiences and acknowledge the reality that my thin privilege has allowed me to be protected from certain stigmatizing experiences those in larger bodies face. I can’t speak directly to the experiences of those in a larger body and being mistreated because of body size, but I know that I can continue to work to bring attention to these injustices.

We have pressure and a standard put on us that makes us feel like it’s our human duty to make sure we have aesthetically pleasing bodies. It’s time to question WHY you fear weight gain and once you do, you’ll realize it’s because you were told to.  Personal experiences, trauma, and a society that values thinness can make it extremely difficult for you to let go of the fear of weight gain. It’s hard to do, but unlearning and dismantling what you’ve been previously taught IS possible.

Trust the Science 

Understanding that your body has a predetermined set point weight and that you have very little control over your genetics can be a relief and the catalyst for ending the constant fight with your body.  Just like you have a unique shoe size, eye color, and height, you have an individual size, shape, and weight too. Your body has already CHOSEN a weight range (not a fixed number, but a range) that it has decided is the healthiest and most optimal for you. 

Your body will do whatever it can to keep you at your set point weight. That’s why 95% of diets and weight loss efforts fail! Your body is smart and it doesn’t care what body type is currently trendy right now. Innate physiological mechanisms work hard to keep your body at its most desired size so that your body can thrive! What you can do is embrace and trust that your body has your back and knows what’s best for you. When you release control and eat intuitively, your body will settle where it needs to on its own. 

Detach Your Worth from Your Body

For many people, the desire to be thin is really a desire to be worthy, loved, and respected. You might feel that if you’re thin you’ll be seen as successful and people will take you more seriously because you “have your life together.” You fear weight gain because maybe you worry that people will make assumptions about you and the thought of that is petrifying. Releasing control of your weight when eating intuitively can feel like you’re not in control anymore, and it’s difficult when you’re used to having that comforting illusion of control.

Looking through the lens of the Health at Every Size approach can really be helpful. You’ll start to grasp the truth that body diversity is real and that all bodies are deserving of respect and dignity.  Bodies are ever-changing and they’re supposed to change. We ebb and flow through life and our bodies carry us throughout so many different stages, seasons, and experiences. Work to develop a neutral view of your body where you don’t need to use so much mental energy geared toward hating your body OR loving your body - allow your body to just BE. You can exist in your here-and-now body and know that you’re worthy as a person regardless of if or when it changes.

Focus on What You Value

Food and body thoughts can take over our lives and we can lose sight of what’s really important to us. It’s easy to forget how much mental space and energy we give to what we eat and how we look.  When you start to pour your energy into what you value, there’s less time to focus on your physical appearance. Within your relationships, connections, conversations, and experiences, try to stay mindful and present. What can you invest in that truly matters? Family and friends? Your career? Being out in nature? Discovering new hobbies?

You don’t want to look back and realize you missed out on important things in life. The people that love you and truly care about you, only want to be with YOU, not your body. 

Questions to personally reflect on:

Where did I learn that weight gain was “bad?”

Why do I care so much about thinness?

How do I treat and see those in larger bodies?

Does my worth really change if my body grows?

Do these beliefs line up with my values?

Letting go of the fear of weight gain when starting intuitive eating is all about working on the mindset behind the fear. Once you really dig in, you’ll see a shift in perspective. Sometimes you simply have to continue to take action in your intuitive eating journey and walk through the fear of weight gain to conclude for yourself that life is about more than your body!

Are you ready to step in and take the leap toward living a life without food and your body holding you back? I offer 1-on-1 virtual intuitive eating coaching and as a Registered Dietitian and Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’ve seen first hand that it IS possible to let go of the fear of weight gain with intuitive eating! Let’s get started!